Amid Uncertainty, Families of Israel’s Missing Suffer in a Painful Limbo

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As Israel reels from the aftermath of Hamas’ deadly assault, families who have lost loved ones are going through funerals and mourning periods. Meanwhile, those with relatives believed to be held hostage are clamoring for their release. However, for the families of those who remain unaccounted for, nearly two weeks after the most devastating civilian bloodshed in Israel’s history, the lack of information has thrust them into an agonizing cycle of sorrow and hope, where questions abound but answers are scarce.

Rachel Goldberg, mother of 23-year-old Hersh Goldberg-Polin, whose last known whereabouts involved him being taken away by Hamas militants, put it succinctly: “In this indeterminate situation, I find myself in a continuous torment. To cease moving feels like an admission to being confined in that torment.”

Big Big News has recorded that more than 250 individuals have gone missing following the attacks. Of these, approximately 140 are presumed hostages, based on eyewitness accounts, military intelligence shared with families, or their presence on social media platforms controlled by Hamas. Among the missing are at least 85 foreign or dual nationals, as per data from the Associated Press, and at least 20 children.

This week, Israel updated its official list of hostages to 199, and while the military has started reaching out to the families, the information provided about their missing relatives has been minimal.

Pauline Boss, a retired professor from the University of Minnesota and an expert on the subject, describes the state of these families as suffering from “ambiguous loss.” The uncertainty, she argues, leaves them paralyzed, stuck in a state of not knowing.

Some solace came to a family when a video of a disoriented Mia Schem, aged 21, was released by Hamas. Captured during the music festival where the carnage occurred, the video represents one of the first signs of life from the hostages since the onset of the calamity on October 7, which claimed more than 1,400 lives.

“It was only yesterday that I learned she was still alive,” said her mother, Keren Schem, during a press conference. “I implore the international community to facilitate her safe return.”

The challenges facing any rescue efforts are enormous. It is believed that Hamas is holding the hostages in an intricate network of underground tunnels in Gaza City, even as Israel conducts airstrikes.

Complicating matters further is the slow pace of identifying deceased victims. At the Shura military base in central Israel, the influx of bodies has surpassed the speed at which they can be identified. Rows of body bags holding men, women, and children are stored in refrigerated trucks, awaiting examination.

Families like Ilan Regev, who has been desperately searching for his children, Maya and Itay, hang in an agonizing limbo. A video from Hamas implied that his son, Itay, was among the hostages. Yet days afterward, the military could only confirm that both siblings were in captivity, offering no details about their condition or even their survival.

“We are like figures in a nightmarish scenario,” said Mirit Regev, their mother.

In a temporary residence near Jerusalem, Iris Haim awaits any news concerning her son Yotam. His last known activity was a video he shot, capturing gunfire before retreating into his apartment. Yotam’s siblings are wrestling with sleep disorders and even guilt over their brother’s disappearance.

“I strive to maintain a semblance of strength,” Iris Haim concluded. “Weakness is a luxury I can ill afford at this juncture.”

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Reported by Noveck from Los Angeles and Hinnant from Paris.

Follow Kellman on X, formerly known as Twitter, at Twitter Handle of Laurie Kellman

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) about Families of Israel’s Missing

More about Families of Israel’s Missing

• Big Big News Report on Missing Persons
• Associated Press Data on Foreign Nationals
• University of Minnesota: Pauline Boss and Ambiguous Loss
• Israeli Military Hostage List Update
• Hamas’ Activity in Gaza
• Israeli Airstrikes on Gaza
• Psychological Impact of Ambiguous Loss
• Kellman on X, formerly known as Twitter